about me, some of me

Who am I? Well, I am a living human being who feels and thinks, who gets happy and sad. It has always been hard to tie myself down to who or what I am, because I am so many things. But I suppose I am like most women, a bit of everything. And of course, a citizen of the world and a lover of all the world.

Ok. I am female, I am middle-aged, but when I am in good spirits, I appear to be younger, if that matters (in the US it does matter). I think youngish, dress youthful, etc. But in other ways am so very old. I am torn between traditions and the modern world. I am torn between Europe and America. I am a part of the sandwich generation. That is, I am squished between a child and a parent, hence, sandwich generation. I struggle daily with life in the United States and all that it entails. I struggle with being a creative person having to deal with noncreative, so-called mundane things. I struggle with being a city girl in the suburbs because of cicumstances beyond my control. I struggle with being in a life where i don’t really fit in or can make huge changes. I struggle with having to always do what I must do, having huge responsibilities instead of being carefree and selfish as in my youth. I struggle with aging and menapause. I struggle with a parent with dementia and a strong-willed child who has a mind of her own.

I suppose I tend towards being a perfectionist, hence my immobility to move forward on some things that I think must be perfect and so, I tend to not start them. I have so many ideas and projects and I go off on tangents. I struggle daily with balancing all aspects of my daily life. Caring for loved ones. Caring for my home and vehicle. Staying healthy and helping keep my loved ones and my cats and things around me healthy too. Earning an income. Paying bills. Staying cultured somewhat. Dealing with the type A personalities of the PTA. Keeping the garden from becoming a jungle. Keeping things in working order. Keeping up with challenges that are thrown my way from different aspects of my life. These days I am also occupied with following the news in the world and the US campaign. And also trying to keep up with “the housewives” reality tv.

Maybe that is why I started this blog. To find like-minded people also searching, lost, struggling, angry, sad, overhwhelmed, wondering, busy, lazy, tired. Trying to juggle and strike a good balance between giving and taking and napping.

This is my story.

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