Everything is upside down

No, I did not vote for Trump. Can you tell? I am the artsy type. We don’t often go that way. But there are exceptions.

I don’t know how to make money. I am simply not good at it, as I kind of feel guilty taking people’s money. ( I also feel bad being served by someone in a restaurant and want to say, join us.) That makes me not quite right in the head according to the American way, I realize.

But everything has become topsy turvy. It has been buiding since 9/11. But this year…woah, was a doozy. WTH. There is no sense of what is real anymore. There appears to be no right or wrong. Stupid, arrogant, selfish individuals are promoted and the others look to them with authority.

Call me crazy, but I don’t see this headed in a good direction. We used to know right from wrong. We could teach our kids manners. Ok it is not entirely Trump’s fault that kids today feel entitled, but it is a symptom of where this country has been headed. Seems we have arrived, or is there even further to go.

I can almost no longer fear for anything. It is all so scary and debilitating how are we all seemingly moving forward?

Topsy Turvy I say.

 

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Ten Fear Responses That Make No Sense, And Why We Have Them

Good writing!

World of Horror

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Nature, we are told, equipped us with all sorts of instincts to help us survive. However, most of them just get us into trouble. Especially the fear response ones. It’s true that we live in a very different world than the primates who evolved these responses, but often what we do when we’re afraid doesn’t seem to make sense even in nature. Let’s take a look at why we’re cursed with some lousy responses to everyday scares.

10. Sweating

Humans are social creatures. That’s why we keep grouping together in big cities even though we clearly hate each other. Exploding into a ball of salty liquid is no good when you are trying to tell a harmless little social lie like claiming you didn’t ding the car door of the big angry man with the baseball bat. And yet there’s always the general adrenal response. When people get nervous their…

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Errands

Today appears to be a lovely mild autumn day outside. The sun is shining, birds are chirping. I sit inside, tired, overwhelmed. I am so overwhelmed I want to go back to sleep. But I have so much to do. The more I have to do, usually, the more I want to sleep.

So much rests on my shoulders. So much responsibilty and so much stress. And I am the only one who can do those things that need to be done. As the tears roll down my cheek, I wonder, can I do it, have I forgotten something that has a time constraint? And I think to myself how much of it can I put off until tomorrow. And pressure is added that the holidays are almost here, and simple fun stuff needs to come into the equation and added to the neccessary tedious things to be done. How much time do I give to each? What balance can I achieve?

Hence, I want to sleep.

But I can not. Too much to do. Busy, busy. Today I will go see my therapist who, for one reason, or another I have not seen in a month. I have managed to survive the month, but the stress has built. I do not want stress to be a factor in my life that will make me ill.

My immediate concern:

1-Shall I rake the leaves now or later.
2-Shall I return library books now or later.
3-Shall I buy bug traps now or later.
4-Shall I pick up prescription medications now or later.
5-Shall I shower today or wait till the next few days.
6-Shall I nap now or later.

Have you noticed I am a bit of a procrastinator?

As the dishwasher and the washing machine and dryer churn.
I sound very much like a homemaker, although that is not part of how I would define myself.

I never understood people when they constantly said they were out doing errands, they were busy doing errands, they could not join me for coffee because they had to do errands. I thought they were making up an excuse to not do something. I think in much of my adulthood, until recently, I had no errands to do. I would think to myself, what is this strange notion called errands. Now I know.

Crying helps, it is a release. Sleep helps too.

Time to get up and do something. Now.